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As far as I remember, since I was a little girl, I had special spirit and imagination. Since then, my pencils and paints have been my true friends. I have always been looking for a way to express all I had in mind on a piece of paper or on anything else. That is why today, the only way I can express my true feelings, thoughts, dreams, and nostalgia is through my paintings. Paintings I create on canvas in loneliness and pure silence.
My grandmother was my main motivating factor. She knew how interested I was in art, especially in painting. She tried to understand my different spirit, although she was not an artist! After middle school, she encouraged me to choose a major which I loved and which gave me calm. Therefore, I continued my education in “The Graphic High School”. This was the beginning of my journey in arts. During that period, I participated in many graphic and painting competitions and exhibitions both in Iran and other countries leading to many prizes and certificates.
I worked hard and all of my teachers were satisfied with my progress. However, I felt this graphic major could not satisfy my rebellious soul. Following graduation from the high school, I was accepted by “the University of Art” and continued my education in painting. I was going through different styles and schools of art and different art histories with no satisfaction of expressing myself and I became very frustrated.
During the search for a school or style that could calm my turbulent soul, I found what I was missing in Surrealism. I thoroughly enjoyed the school of Surrealism and was amazed by the strange works of Salvador Dali. I focused on Dali's works and studied other artists in this school. I was very interested in the spirits and moods of these artists in their routine lives while creating their works. Following in depth research about the psychology of these artists, I decided I needed more information. Therefore, I applied to study psychology, got accepted, and studied both psychology and painting at the same time at university. Studying psychology helped me get to know mankind's spirit and soul and above all, helped me to gain self-awareness. I could also understand Surrealism in depth, a school that is far from reality, nature and the metaphysic world. All this education opened up my horizon to find a new goal.
During that period, Sheikh Gallery (one of the most important art galleries of that time) invited me visit the private fine art gallery of Mr. Masoud Nahavandi. Seeing his works touched my soul and I was very impressed by his art work. I thought to myself “I've finally found what I have been looking for”. Meeting him was like a miracle, as he is one of the Surrealism pioneers in Iran. I cannot express the gratitude I felt when he agreed to be my mentor. Studying two majors at the same time was hard, however, he helped me to understand the surreal way of thinking, designing and finally painting in this school. This was the first step toward my passionate dream and led me closer to my goal. Mr. Nahavandi taught me the principles of surreal thinking. I learned to watch every simple thing, which had no importance to others, surreally and I gained many interesting and worthy experiences. Although it was hard, my will was stronger than ever to straighten my scattered mind and exclude images which were distracting my mind. Most important of all, I became able to express and create whatever I had in mind and heart. I was able to put all the untold words, dreams, and wishes on paper or canvas or anything else. This brought me calmness and happiness. But this calmness was short. My mentor emigrated to another country. I felt that I was stopped at a point and lost my next step. I felt alone and that I was losing my life torch. I knew I had to find a new way.
At the time, I was working on my graduation thesis "Research on Surrealism in Iran's Contemporary Painting". I eagerly searched for more artists. I found artists of this school in Iran. I interviewed those who were alive, and studied the biographies and works of those who were not. Meanwhile, I collected some of the works of these artists, and this collection was like a precious treasure for me. I translated many helpful texts from French, English and Spanish to Persian. A part of my graduation thesis was my personal research into old Iranian surreal paintings, especially Iranian miniatures. Although some of my university teachers disagreed with me initially, my in-depth research convinced them in the end. I presented a thick and weighty graduation thesis along with ten paintings of this school and I graduated with an honor degree.
After completing my Bachelor of Art Degree, I still felt that I needed a mentor and more guidance. Among all the surrealist painters of Iran, I did not find anyone close to my own spirit. After consulting with an artist friend of mine, Behnam Kamrani, I decided to pursue my own subjects, thoughts and images. Behnam would guide me in color combination. I started to create my new work collection.
Behnam believed that my work was close to (Beksinski)’s paintings (a Polish artist) and was affected by his style. But I did not know this artist at that time and was not familiar with his works. I borrowed a book about this artist from a friend of mine. Seeing Beksinski’s works for the first time gave me a strange feeling, a feeling I cannot describe. His works exactly mirrored my own feelings. I delved into his works although they were bitter, dark and painful. I wished I had his powerful and amazing brush and his supernatural feelings. Seeing his works led me to think again and I stopped taking my classes. This coincided with my graduation thesis in psychology with the title "Research on Paintings of Retarded Children". With this I completed my Master’s Degree in Psychology.
All through these years, I was enchanted by Beksinski’s works and unconsciously, my spirit and paintings got affected by his works. This was the incentive to create my new paintings. This resulted in organizing a new private fine art exhibition in one of the most famous art galleries of Iran, Negarkhaneh Sabz (Green Gallery) , which was established and is owned by Ali Akbar Sadeghi, one of the pioneers of the School of Surrealism in Iran. Amazingly, the exhibition attracted many people in addition to local and national press on 2002. My dream was to see people not pass by my paintings without pausing and thinking about them, and it did come true. This made me write a few articles about the school of Surrealism and these articles were printed in local and national press. Then, I created my new collection named "Silent Blue".
I began studying photography and I became a member of the Canadian Photographers’ Academy. One of my friends helped me to work with Photoshop software. This software was vast and extremely interesting. I had little knowledge about it, but I tried to find my own specific and personal method. This software made me able to combine designs, paintings and photographs I had taken to create new images. I felt I found my method. I organized another exhibition to present these experiences through paintings with different colures and senses compared to my previous works. Fortunately, my second exhibition was very successful.
A new friend, Mani Kamarad, told me about his feelings about my paintings. He talked about the nostalgia and loneliness of the humans in my paintings, about a man and woman whose humanity was more important than their gender. He mentioned things I had never told anyone before or even thought consciously about. He had thoughts and concerns similar to mine. Otherwise he could not have perceived the depth of my work. It was both strange and interesting that I had found another human being, a stranger like me, who understood the meaning of my paintings. He told me about his efforts to create a method which included art truth and humanity, a method about darkness and its beauties. This idea was very attractive to me. After this conversation, I found that my thoughts, feelings and paintings were similar to his. His ideas opened a new world for me to express my feelings and agitated thoughts. As he had full knowledge of a graphic software and he followed this school of painting, I asked him to help me overcome my weaknesses. He taught me how to use this software professionally and I believe that now I have the necessary skills to use this software in my work. His ideas about light and darkness and their place next to each other helped me to create more depth in my paintings and this caused a sudden change in my work. Today, with the help of this pervasive and vast software, I express my feelings consciously.
At present I do not follow a specific style or school. What I really care about are the calm moments which inspire my paintings. I do not limit myself to one tool; it can be canvas, paint or modern technologies like graphic software. The most important fact is that the thoughts and feelings are mine and I can show them by any tool to be as beautiful and permanent as possible.
I still believe that the school of Surrealism is mainly a specific life style and deliberation, not just an artistic style. I do not agree with some artists who believe that this school ended 50 years ago; I believe Surrealism lives as long as we dream. Researchers have not found any scientific reason or enough explanation for this trivial phenomenon, yet. In my opinion, dreaming is beyond reality and human comprehension. People mostly do not pay attention to this phenomenon because they are used to it. This supernatural world and even the concept of this style are still beautiful. The trace of this style can still be seen in my work. From now on I let viewers to classify my paintings as they wish.
I would like to give a short explanation about my paintings. Since my graduation human has been the main element in my paintings. Human has a clear existence in my paintings. Sometimes they are happy or sad, dark or bright, and sometimes mute or lucid, monochrome or colorful. Things happen to the humans in my paintings. Sometimes they appear as delicate, sensitive and fragile in the form of a woman and sometimes they look rough, strong and rigid in the form of a man. These humans are actually all aspects of me!
Today, my final goal is to be a perfect human. A human consists of all abilities and feelings of a woman and a man at the same time. A real human! Gaining these interesting and valuable experiences, I am stepping forward to reach my goal in life.
Finally, there are a few things that I should mention. I taught in Fine Arts Tehran University-Art University and Azad University from 1994 to 2000. Since 1999, I have been giving private lessons on design, painting, graphics, glass painting, and knowledge of colors. The works of my students are known in the contemporary art world. My main activities are painting, graphic design, computer graphics, photography and interior design. Sometimes I weave tapestry. .(My book is the collection of personal paintings and is called (Silence Blue) to represent the person who I was yesterday and who I have become.)
Shirin Madani
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